Five Years

Five years ago today was my final cancer treatment. ⁣

I stepped into the cold, feeling yanked out from under the daily watchful eye of the incredible team of experts I came to rely on. ⁣

Two days later all nonessential businesses in New York shut down. ⁣

I was told the usual prescription for post treatment was to go out, do things, see your friends, plan the trip. The way to move on is to live.⁣

With the onset of COVID, my doctors were sympathetic - they had no advice for me now.⁣

And that was the beginning of my path to healing against a backdrop the world had never seen before. ⁣

Five years later, I’m spending the day very differently. ⁣

Things are coming into sharper focus. The specifics aren’t important just yet but I’m no longer working to survive from one doctor’s appointment to the next.⁣

I’ve made plans again, not only for the near term, but without even realizing it, for the distant future, too. ⁣

These five years will always hold weight with me: for what was lost and for what was gained. ⁣

⁣But now I’ve come down off the tight rope walk.⁣

The tension is breaking.⁣

⁣And it feels a little like coming home.