Waiting
“You need to have kids.”
The room was loud so at first I thought I misheard. She repeated it, this time drowning out the noise.
“You need to get married and have kids.”
It’s been spoken over me for decades.
Like a broken record - skipping the beautiful soundtrack of my life to get stuck on something no one can make sense of.
The faces have changed, but it’s always the same.
Said in passing. Without thought. Said as if it was something I forgot to do.
In one stroke, it sweeps over the entirety of who I am, minimizing the journey:
Christ-follower
Writer
Mentor
Friend
Cancer survivor
Entrepreneur
But God also speaks over us, if we let him, and his words go farther back.
Before opinions, before I was born, before the world.
His ways are complete.
Whole.
With nothing left unfinished or forgotten.
He doesn’t leave loose ends.
And if I’ve learned anything sifting through these decades of noise, it’s this:
More than anyone, God knows what He is doing. He sees what I can’t.
Peace overflows when I rest my full weight on that.
So far, it’s looked nothing like what I planned, but His ways are marked by precision, intention, and a thoughtfulness unique to who I am.
The weight of the world’s words can get heavy. If you have experienced this, too, you are not alone.
But waiting on Him - waiting with Him - is never wasted.
He isn’t finished yet, and it will be worth it to see what he intended all along.
Valentine’s Day 2023
PSA: stop telling single women we’re not doing enough to find a spouse.
So many of us are in various stages of the search, taking a break from the search, or content but hopeful.
You don’t know what a woman has experienced that’s led her to where she is.
“Put yourself out there” is a directive that has long since worn out its welcome.
We are active in our communities, running businesses, and traveling the world. It doesn’t even apply.
And stop throwing around online dating like it’s a one-size-fits-all, one-stop shopping, magic bullet.
It might not be right for everyone and there are so many factors to consider when investing energy into strangers on the internet, beyond casual social media interactions.
When you’re married, no one is asking you what it is or why it is. You’re free to navigate the twists and turns as you both change and grow.
We are no different - we deserve the freedom and respect to navigate the journey we are on, and above all else, to just be able to LIVE.
Without the pressure. Without the time tables. Without the assumptions.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some calls to make.